So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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