Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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