addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
