Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
