My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
