she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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