sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
