Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
