1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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