i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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