he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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