My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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