hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
