so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
