and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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