sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
