I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
