btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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