youre lurking in front of me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
