I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
