You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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