Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
