Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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