Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You took a bar mat shot.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
