I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pants are for mortals
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
