....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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