I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
