so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
