it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
