The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
MIDGETS
????
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
