All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
