Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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