The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
