Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
