the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
