What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
