Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
