Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
