I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
