Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
