If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
