I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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