Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
