one two three fourrrrnication!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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