Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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