so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
