So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
