Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
