You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
