Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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